If you know me, I love people, I love meeting people, I love friends, I love talking, I love traveling, I love going places, I love everything! haha. Recently, I graduated from Bible College in Dallas, TX when I was there, my heart was so happy, I was so at ease with life. It's exactly where I knew God wanted me. Now that I've graduated, I'm kind of in an awkward stage in my life, I've graduated college, I'm working part/full time and I've moved back in with my family in Tennessee. Not exactly what I had in mind after I graduated college. Just working, and living life, nothing spectacular.
I went to visit my older brother who is currently a student at the Bible College that I recently graduated from, when I went to visit him it was so nice to see him and all of my friends whom I had missed so much! I got the question "Are you sad you're gone?" a lot. In a way, I was, of course I missed all my friends and such, but at the same time not really. I would usually answer something like: "I love where I'm at, and I know home is where God wants me, so I'm happy with it." A few weeks later I came back home to Tennessee, and I was able to buy a plane ticket to Brazil (again, if you know me, you know what a dream of mine that is come true!). The day after I bought the ticket, I was in our local prayer room, and God began to speak to me something like this: "Karissa, your happiness isn't in Brazil, it isn't in Dallas, it isn't in Cleveland, it isn't in your friends, it isn't in your family, it isn't in anyone but Me." This kind of caught me off guard. Never the less I realized it was completely true, I haven't felt totally satisfied with any "location" I've been in my life. When I was in Dallas, I wanted to be in Tennessee, and vice versa!
When I bought my ticket to Brazil, I was SO excited, but suddenly I began to fear that it wouldn't be everything I had expected it to be. That's when I got the revelation that, I will never be able to find happiness in a location, in a place, or in a person. My happiness is wherever I am and God is with me. Happiness is me living life with God. Happiness isn't a destination in which I am to be in pursuit of, or that i will one day attain, rather, it is the vehichle in which I must ride in throughout life. I can go anywhere in the world, with any person, and be just as in love and happy in the low places as well as the high, because my happiness and love isn't found in a location.
I love life, not because the circumstances are amazing, or because I'm doing amazing things, but because I live every day in love with Love Himself. I enjoy every moment of my life, because that's what I was created to do. I am happy and have joy, not because I'm at a certain place, with certain people, or have reached a certain goal in my life, I'm happy because I have God with me wherever I am. I can be happy in the low places (which seems to be now in my life) and in the high (which will probably be when I get to Brazil in 2 months, haha) simply because the key to happiness is within me, and not in a physical door. Happiness is not something I will ever find, because I have already found it within me.
When I wake up in the morning, I read at least 3 things that remind me that it is MY choice to have a good day, it is MY choice to remember that happiness is with me, it is MY choice to remember that God is living today with me. Today will be a fun day, why? Because I said so. Today will be a great day regardless of what does or doesn't happen, why? Because I decided it to be. Today I will love life and enjoy every moment of it, why? Because happiness isn't in a location or person. Happiness is in me. :)
...and when I'm hungry... I'll eat tacos!! :P
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