I'm not Beautiful because...

About a month and a half ago I went to the doctors, turned out I had strep throat. No problem, just prescribed me to some medicine (Penicillin) and it'd be "gone in about 10 days!". So, I got the medicine, took it for 6 days before I broke out into a major allergic reaction ALL over my entire body! I had never taken Penicillin before then so I didn't know if I was allergic to it or not (My older brother is allergic to it though). In one night it seemed like all of hell itself came up and visited me and attacked my body. I was absolutely miserable and hideous looking. I would laugh everytime I saw myself in the mirror, cause I just looked plain funny, and I knew if I didn't laugh about it, I would cry. I itched, all over my body, I ached, I hurt, I didn't sleep for a few nights at ALL. I was in so much pain and itching to much to rest. My parents took me to the E.R, they rushed me immediately back and put me on oxygen (my throat was closing up and I was having a difficult time breathing)..and gave me an IV in my hand. When I broke out... I BROKE OUT. My ENTIRE body was COVERED (I like using Caps lock ... haha) in red dots which turned into purple bruises... all over my face, arms, stomache, back, legs, even the bottom of my feet! (Remember, I had been taking the medicine for 6 days before I broke out, so it was well in my system). I would laugh and laugh, cause it was just so funny looking...and so people wouldn't feel bad or sorry for me. It seemed to lighten the situation up. But inside, every time I would look in the mirror, I would say to myself  "You're so ugly! Look how gross you look! No one is gonna like you!" ...those were my flat out thoughts... When I was in the hospital room, all by myself, I looked down at my body, and just began to cry, I was afraid my skin would never look good and go back to normal again. No one would like me, People would always be looking at me, and kids would be scared of me! ..., I  was released from the hospital the same day... still just looking terrible. That night, I was watchin tv with my Dad and this music video, by Nicole Nordeman started to play called "Beautiful for Me", I'd never heard the song before, but it was perfect timing and just what I needed... God seems to be pretty good at the timing thing.. haha... A few of the Chorus Lyrics went like this:

Has anybody told you you’re beautiful?

You might agree if you could see what I see
Oh‘Cuz everything about you is incredible
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you beautiful for me

...as I heard this... I knew it was like Jesus singing to me directly...He began to speak to me and tell me, that He still and always will think I'm the most beautiful girl ever, not because of what my skin looks like, but because of what my heart does. and He reminded me that He only makes GOOD Creation, and when He said it Genesis 1 that "it is Good" He meant everything, and everyone, all of the created and un-created, (that included me!) and that He loves me the same, no matter what ... I was/am His forever. and that NOTHING could separate His love from me.... (Romans 8:38-39)... that night I found this verse I never new exsisted till I happened to stumble upon it... it says...Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. (4)You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. (1Peter 3:3-4) (NLT)

...How simple... Beauty is not what one looks like, which I understood to a point before this whole thing, but I just realized it more afterwards... Our bodies are mere households for our spirit to live in... like a quote I once heard... don't remember who it's by...but it said... "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, but rather, spirit beings having a human experience" ... Skin doesn't matter, to the world, maybe yes, bt the world didn't die for you, and give you everything you would ever need before you were ever born, Jesus did! ...We hear about Martyrs in the Bible and even in today's world in over sea countries...I used to wonder....God... I don't know if I could handle that... then I realized.... those people live Mark 8:36..".And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?" ...They understand that it is better for them to endure a small time suffering hear on earth, then eternity in hell...either way there will be suffering. But they are suffering for a good cause. A beautiful one.
So, to wrap this long post up, I'd like to just say, I'm not beautiful because of the design of the skin God gave me to live in, but because of the Beautiful God who lives within me and He died to make me beautiful. When people see me I want them to be attracted to the God in me, so they may know who He is and discover that the same Beautiful Jesus is longing to live in and show them His infathomable love He has for them too. =) If you are someone that isn't convinced they aren't beautiful, be assured, you are GORGEOUS! Despite what any one says or doesn't say, Jesus doesn't make ugly creation! =)

oh.. I added some picture of my body when I had the allergic reaction btw! ... lol

and P.s... My skin is completly cleared up now!! =) Thank Jesus! =)

M legs...

 My forearm...

 This was the first day...the rash moved down my body from head to toe, thats why my arm and chest don't look as bad...but...this is my face... (obvioulsy right, haha)

and in case any of you wanted to hear the song/watch the video of that dong "beautiful for Me" by Nicole Nordeman... here is the link.. =) and Yes, it was a song on a veggie tales movie.... #veggietalesrock lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orc4TuIO56s